Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
