yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
