how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
accomplished twins. life is a go
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
