My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
