i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
