Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
