This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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