I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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