my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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