He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
