we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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