Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
even my farts smell like vagina
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
