I'll bet she douches with gravy.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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