Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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