Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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