Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
