I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
