If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
