So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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