Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
this boner is exhausting
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
