sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
