So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
