I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
