in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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