i just wanna soil my oats bro
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
