ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
