i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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