Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We have started to decorate penises.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
