About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
