Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
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sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
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Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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