hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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