You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
