i don't like sucking hair
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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