I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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