And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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