btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
