Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
