At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
