i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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