dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
