I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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