i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
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Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
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Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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