Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
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