So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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