Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
