Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize