Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
