Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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