Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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