Don't you send me to vm
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
