she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
