I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
