I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize