3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
nutella sex= disaster
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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