Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
